Passion

So I have been thinking a lot about passion lately, because I am fortunate enough to be in what should be the most ideal position for myself: a well-paid salary and a strong fit in both skills and domain. But somehow, I do not feel genuinely happy. Why?

Thinking back to Jensen Huang’s talk, he said, “What people misunderstand is the best jobs are the ones that bring you happiness all the time. I don’t think that’s right”. He also mentioned that it takes suffering and struggle to really appreciate what you’ve done. To some extent, I agree. I love working in Public Sector (PS) consulting because I can feel the meaning in my work, yet there are so many nuances and angles that I do not enjoy. My favorite part is Economic Development projects, but I do not get to work on those often. The PS sector covers far more than that: digital transformation, banking, energy, mining, telco, and more. In consulting, you deal with whatever clients bring to the table, and you do not get to pick and choose. That is why I sometimes feel desperate. There are days when I genuinely do not want to continue a project. Some tasks are painfully difficult or simply uninspiring, such as estimating market size for notarization services or tallying yearly deaths to project inheritance cases.

I have also been thinking about the real value I bring to my family and society. Growing up, I often blamed my dad because he cared so much for others but did not always do the same for my mom. Now I am beginning to feel that I am following a similar path. I turned down good offers to return to Vietnam and work on meaningful projects for the country. I achieved what I set out to do back in college, and my work has not only stayed on slides and reports; many of the ideas have been implemented across Southeast Asia. Society and industry reward my determination, and honestly, I believe I deserve that recognition after all the effort I have invested. I also feel fortunate to receive support from many important friends and mentors.

However, these achievements have come at a cost: my health, my time, my relationships, and perhaps my compensation compared with international standards. Even so, I still do not spend enough time with my family, and I have not yet earned enough to cover all of my younger sister’s tuition fees. I feel guilty because my parents continue to worry about my health after seeing me work for more than twenty-four hours without sleep.

Sometimes I doubt myself: why do I keep following this path? Even though it is the one I wanted and many people admire, it does not offer the same exit options as other industries. Vietnam also lacks a strong market for this type of work. Would it have been better if I had chosen another practice area, such as Banking or PIPE, to gain better job prospects? Who knows. I cannot answer that counterfactual.

I am truly grateful for every opportunity and for all the people who have helped shape who I am today. However, I would not recommend this path to others because it is so difficult and uncertain. Even a single different turn along the way would have taken me somewhere else entirely.